That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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