Your dad touched me again.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I want to be your penis for a week.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
