Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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