I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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