Got a toothbrush?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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