im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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