just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Hippo gnu deer
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
