My first STD was from a foam party
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
