Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
