you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
