Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
it hurts more in the daytime
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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