just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
