fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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