Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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