i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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