dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
