Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
