I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
