we have pet lesbian snakes
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
