can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
