I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
