why didn't you poke me back
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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