I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
