Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize