Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
