I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
