dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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