I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
