Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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