My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
