The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
