Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
