All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
