the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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