Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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