yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
