this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
