I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
