I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
