She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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