That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
