Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
wanna go halves on a baby?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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