On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize