people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
