Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
