i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
that's an acceptable place to lick
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
