AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
