when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
