I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize