Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
