So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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