the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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