Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
