I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize