And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
