wat bout pragnant strippers??
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
